Wednesday, August 31, 2011

give us the freedom to be naked, and we'd choose clothes.

I tend to be a person in work or social circles who receives ‘both sides of the story’.
And after hearing a lot of sides to a lot of stories,
I’ve come to realize that typically no one person is more right than the other.
Our perceptions and reactions are relative to our own experience,
and as a result, we will always be innocently inclined to think:
we were right, we were wronged, we did everything we could, they let us down.
We’re all just hurting each other and feeling disappointed about something for no reason.
We can convince ourselves of anything.
I wish we could all say and do exactly what we really think and feel all the time,
allowing everyone else the same courtesy,
and not being disappointed by unmet expectations.
because at the end of the day we were all true with one another,
and what more is there?
Above being cool, collected, coy, portraying an image, trying not to be too venerable,
or too forward, or too eager, or too needy or anything besides what you really are, all the time.
…but then what would most of us be?
It’s far too scary to have people really know us, and reject us.
(and quite frankly, society condones you to be anything but yourself)
If we try to be everything to everyone or create ‘who we are’,
we’re much less disappointed if we’re not received because
“we could have told them how we really feel”
or “they could have rejected the real me”
and that would have hurt much worse.
And I’m so much tougher than that, aren’t you?
What a shame. Who are we fooling?

So here’s to loving and being yourself,
and accepting everyone around you, for themselves.
And if you’re finding yourself disappointed in other people,
maybe it’s because you’re not fully being who you are made to be,
or you’re expecting them to be someone they’re not.
It’s ok.

Here's something raw & real about me:
I'm going to smile & be brave,
but I'm scared to death of September.

In the month of September,
on top of my regular work week,
I will be the backup supervisor on call 24/7,
and I have to:
Finish 2 custom wedding veils,  
Host a bridal shower,
Plan a baby shower,
Review 27 clinical assessments,
Coordinate a wedding (this one I'm really excited about),
Do all the flowers (bouquets, boutonnieres, centerpieces, reception & ceremony décor)
for another wedding,
Pack up our whole house,
Have a yard sale,
Move across town,
Finish 3 applications (which include 20 piece portfolio submissions) to 3 design schools,
Submit my passport update application,
Attend traffic school for going 46 in a 35,
Meet with 9 gallery directors,
Start training for a half-marathon,
 Launch all the social media once our (3 years in the making) organic baby company finally goes live,
And celebrate my momma’s birthday.

I do believe that I get extra doses of joy in my spirit when facing seasons like this,
or maybe it's just the delirium that comes from lack of sleep
and large amounts of stress, disguised as joy.
either way, I'll take it.
{hugs and wine are also welcome & appreciated}

let’s hope I make it out alive. deep deepest breath, go.

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