Friday, March 23, 2012

(keepme) safe from harm

{so throw away those lamentations,
we both know them all too well..
if there's a book of jubilations,
we'll have to write it for ourselves..
so come and lie beside me darlin',
and let's write it while we still got time..}

{be the light of my lantern}

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

i wept for sorrow's sake..

{joy and sorrow are inseparable…
together they come and when one sits alone with you,
remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.}
–Kahlil Gibran

: :
I believe that people are naturally ‘yes’ or ‘no’ people.
That they are naturally ‘optimists’ or ‘pessimists’.
Not that this limits their ability to display or act out of the opposing characteristics,
just that they have a natural disposition towards one.
I consider myself an optimistic realist.
I see the realities or limitations of a situation,
I know that humanity is really, really messy.
But I still hope-dream-believe in the potential.
In the growth, in the change, in the movement.
I have always had a joyful spirit.
It’s easy for me to be hopeful in bleak places,
thankful despite adversity.
To look at someone (or myself) and think,
“There is hope for you yet.”
My grandpa (he’s a sweet man) says that “I was born a shining star”.
That “darkness can’t touch me because it doesn’t even faze me”.
(I think that’s being a bit generous, but I appreciate his belief in me).
He also often reminds me that my Irish blood will always find a way to remind me of sorrow.
That sorrow is an important part to life,
and when it comes, to feel it deeply.

Yesterday as I was driving home,
Sorrow fell over me like a heavy, wool blanket.
I just started weeping.
Weeping is different than crying.
Weeping comes from a place deep inside your soul where there are no words.
I pulled off the highway and just sat there and wept,
the sun beating down on me through my window.
I wept for the loss of love.
I wept for friends I hardly know,
who are about to know the deepest sorrow.
That I can’t tell you when it’s going to get better,
but I can tell you it will be far worse than you could ever imagine.
I wept for my best of 22 years and her little girls.
I wept for how easy it is to dissolve a marriage,
and yet how hard it remains.
Every story unfolds differently,
But I know one thing,
No matter how it happens (best or worst case scenario),
divorce is the saddest, ugliest thing.
I wept for my own divorce.
It’s not a secret, it’s a tragedy.
I wept for the sake of all lost love,
loves not realized or chased after.
I wept for the sake of fears that imprison people from trying love again.
I wept for the sake of love forgotten.
Fathers, daughters, mothers, sons, lovers, friends.
I wept for sorrow’s sake.
Until the heat of the sun on my skin cooled from the settling in of dusk.

As I drove the rest of the way home,
I thought about the ways you can tell it’s getting better.
(because it’s getting better all the time).
That small things like smiling again in photographs,
or recognizing that the hard days & nights now,
are less hard then the ones last week, or last month, or 6 months ago.
That although there will always be scars, the heart heals.
That things like intentional counseling and making art and the love of good people,
helps make your scars trustworthy.

: :
{Sorrow comes in great waves… but rolls over us,
and though it may almost smother us, it leaves us.
And we know that if it is strong, we are stronger,
inasmuch as it passes and we remain.}
-Henry James

Monday, March 19, 2012

exciiited for johnanthony

growing up on this goodness:

has made me really exciiited for this solo project:

spring is full of good, good things.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

we shall continue to run hot.

if the only thing i ever had to do was
engage people,
read things
& observe beauty,
i still would never have enough moments in my lifetime.

there are so so many great writings,
gorgeous images,
complex conversations,
& insights.
humanity is so impressive to me.
people are so talented, passionate, fragile.

this came to me today from a friend,
from a friend,
from a friend.
as i read it (while i sat in traffic),
i was CAPtivated.
it is easily one of the best things i've read in a while.
mostly because it generated the following things:

i wish i could attribute your name to this post,
but i suppose you wouldn't mind, given the content. 
thank you for your life.
and your heart.
and your mind. 


"I do truly hope, when it all shakes out that love wins mightily. Forsaking all rationale and reason, that the terrifically stupid and horrendously unfair realities are righted. I am very suspicious as to whether my desire is actually going to happen, but I won't so easily yield my hope and belief in it. I won't be so easily drug away. I'm not so certain of what I would think of myself if I was.

We all know the fuel we burn in this life whether intellectually, spiritually, relationally, or materialistically. It is at some level frightening and humbling, but it is also very enlightening. I forget that I must be aware the life I possess is wildly fragile. It scares me, its impermanence. It is always begging for me to fear, to stop, and to quit. It whispers don't hope, don't love, don't sacrifice, because all these acts will surely drain you dry.

However, sometimes... it is important that we remind this broken planet that some of us F****** refuse to acknowledge that. In our insanity that is hope, we beg to be destroyed and broken for love. We relish the war we shall never win, because we so love the battles we have. We wear each tear, scar, and drop of blood as badges of commendation. We shall not abandon our loves and our hopes, we shall continue to run hot until we either are truly the victors or are consumed in the attempt.

This is my own reminder, but to those in search, to those akin and most certainly to the ones who run on the same brand of diesel as I... hold fast to your hopes, press on for your beliefs, and NEVER go quietly. May love prevail above all regardless it's cost, and may I truly be the kind of man fit and willing to abide by the statement."

may we all.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Saturday, March 3, 2012

finds its morning.

{And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning – and is refreshed.}
-Kahlil Gibran