Sunday, November 27, 2011

made better by the ones who love me

{I have always looked at life as a voyage, mostly wonderful, sometimes frightening.
In my family and friends I have discovered treasure more valuable than gold.}
-jimmy buffet

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

thankful, thanksfilled.

in the spirit of giving thanks,
and remembering to be thankful always,
here are some of the many things that make me thankful,
and thanksfilled.

  • the generosity of others
  • deep, belly laughter
  • catching tears
  • endearing eyes
  • friends that call and call and call
  • being tender and being fierce
  • the buzz right before 1 too many beers
  • dancing freely, always
  • silly girlfriends
  • honest and kind manfriends
  • compliments from strangers
  • hugs that last a little too long
  • sass
  • toys
  • sparkling kombucha
  • music (oh music is so, so good)
  • holidays with loved ones
  • playing in parks
  • naps
  • oliver
  • flowers
  • sunrises & sunsets
  • baby animals
  • my grandpa
  • my brother repeatedly texting me if chocolate frosting is gluten-free
  • pictures of places i've never been
  • dreaming and hoping big big big
  • believing
  • technology that keeps you in touch
  • candles and firepits
  • favourite sweatshirts
  • old friends & new friends
  • tastebuds
  • sarcasm that doesn't hurt people
  • witty friends
  • water (all kinds)
  • text messages that make you smile when yer at a red light
  • cold sheets & warm blankets
  • showers and bubble baths
  • balloons
  • hats
  • remembering
  • my jetta
  • breathing
  • eucalyptus trees
  • sharing clothes
  • melted, gooey cheese
  • neon anything
  • creating and the created
  • twine
  • scraps of fabric and paper
  • being forgiven
  • wisdom
  • things that feel like home
  • people watching
  • wine (oh heavens)
  • children, laughing playing crying
  • long drives
  • freedom
  • caring
  • high high heels
  • glitter
  • charcoal pencils
  • jumping beans
  • my momma
  • trader joes
  • apu
  • being brave and being scared
  • good good books
  • dumb movies
  • cuddling
  • singing at the tops of your lungs
  • holding hands
  • tattoos
  • records
happy turkey day,
happy remembering of gratitude,
happy cranberries & adventuring.

oh all the happiest days and years to you.
(even the hard things can be good things, don't forget)


Sunday, November 20, 2011


{Dance, when you're broken open.
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.
Dance in the middle of the fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance when you're perfectly free.}

Sunday, November 13, 2011

wedding week recap, oh mama.

thursday nite.

noel&zach. couture custom veil. dino dragon cake.


flowers. lace. lil coach. prep,prep,prep.


wedding with a view, pretties, wine & dancin.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

find me in that burning sunset sky, keepme.

You know that thing that happens when you’re holding a little baby. A baby that’s about 6 months old and able to be pretty alert as you're walking around or standing in the front yard talking to a neighbor and getting your mail. The baby is so sweet, resting on your hip just looking at you, and then it happens…that cute and chubby little hand, with swift determination, reaches right up and grabs onto a tuft of your dangling hair. Its little hand gripping so tight that it would take the jaws of life to uncurl their little fingers from your locks. You immediately respond by bending your neck towards them, your hand over their hand, and ever so gently try to uncurl their fingers with minimal strand loss. It hurts, every time. And despite the fact that you can say, “owww sweetie,” or have tears well up in your eyes, the likelihood of it happening again is almost inevitable. That vision has come to me a lot lately while reflecting about my life. That little baby does not want to hurt you, in fact it probably loves you very, very much. That little baby does this, because starting at a very young age, we all want control. Even if it’s just as simple as grabbing onto what’s directly within arm’s reach, and holding on for dear life. It’s instinctual.

For the last few months, I’ve done a lot of thinking and feeling and reflecting. I have tried to let every day be what it needs to be today, and be fully present. I’ve done a lot of crying in my car on empty streets and have never laughed so deeply with friends & family. People have been so so good to me. They have surrounded me and been fierce and tender and love. People have cried with me when I couldn’t and let me laugh at things I shouldn’t. They have held my face in their hands, catching my tears and reminding me of true things. I have made mistakes and good choices, and forgiven myself often. I have thought deeply about what it means to be fully alive, when you’re feeling mostly dead. I have buried myself into the heart of God, and have never prayed harder in my entire life. For everything, and everyone. I have never felt such compassion for other people and the decisions they've made in dark seasons (past and present). I have looked at the sunrise and the sunset and the raindrops. I have danced a lot and run what feels like a million miles. I have kept dreaming and hoping for the things to come. I have been thankful for what has already been.

A friend showed me this poem recently which I’ve adapted as my mantra:

{It’s dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly.
Learn to do everything lightly…
Even though you’re feeling deeply…
Lightly let things happen
and lightly cope with them…
On tiptoes and with no luggage…
Completely unencumbered.}
-aldous huxley, 1894-1963 (adapted)

Lately, I have often seen myself as that little baby, reaching up and grabbing soo tightly onto that strand of hair. CLUTCHing the things I want to hold onto, refusing to let go.  Realizing that I’m not really controlling anything (there is freedom here). Life is ever changing, always. And maybe that’s where the comfort lies…not in the things that we are able to hold onto and keep the same, but in our ability to find comfort in the changing. For there will forever be changing. Life will never slow down, it will never get simpler. It will always get more full, and more complex. This is what awaits. This is the constant.

{Everything remains unsettled forever, depend on it.} – henry miller

There are things that I deeply want that have never been, and may continue to never be.  For those unknown hopes, and feelings without a home, I will keep reminding myself to ‘open up ma hands’ and learn to do everything lightly. I will let my sorrow be sorrow and my joy be joy. I will lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I will do the best I can, in all the ways I can, with everything I can. I will continue to become, who I’ve always been becoming.

{For we know the love G-d has for us, and we trust in that.} -1 John 4:16

Sunday, November 6, 2011


this is one of the many reasons why i love 
this girl like crazy:

"hi tahnanananananaa-a-a! 
leaving you a voicemail was really important to me,
but I lost my bluetooth,
so what's a girl to do??
just break the law I guess.
a little belligerence never hurt nobody!
(laughing) -well, maybe that's not true.
belligerence implies violence,
in which case someone is inevitably hurt.
...I gotta get off the phone." 


Tuesday, November 1, 2011


i know i've been absent from my 'tuesday trends' posts,
but i've still been lovin' on fashion,
don't you worry.

here are some of my current favourites.
yummayumyum. patterns&colourpop!


{via lookbook, weheartit, pinterest & fellow fashion blogs}