Wednesday, April 18, 2012

brave on the rocks

me: it's all just one big tragic misunderstanding...
b: what is?
me: life.
b: you know, it's refreshing when you're a little dark. you're far too joyful all the time, considering.

this was the end of a conversation at work the other day.
the day one of my employees told me she had feelings for me.
file that under: things you don't see coming.

it was the end of my clinical supervision with her.
i care about my employees, absolutely.
i ask them about their lives,
and their stress level, 
and remember things like their kid's birthday.
but at work, i'm all about work.
i don't hang out with employees outside the office,
i imagine i can be a little cold.

this gal, so shy. 
still pretty new to the office.
you would just never expect it.
when she said, "i need to tell you something..."
i thought she was going to tell me she was quitting.
going back to school or moving home.
i'm pretty good about staying neutral,
playing it cool,
 but i was literally shocked.
she was SUPER embarrassed.
i hope i was kind.

i'm not sure what she was hoping would come of that completely unprofessional disclosure,
but a part of me is a little impressed*.
i mean, she just said it.
went for it.
so seemingly uncharacteristic of her.
and now she knows. 
she knows i like boys,
she knows i would never entertain something unprofessional at work,
and she just has to embrace reality.
no wondering,
or thinking, 
just truth.
how refreshing somehow.
(uncomfortable for a little while- sure, but refreshing).
brave on the rocks.
good for her.

(*i do not condone telling your boss you like them. you should not.)

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