Wednesday, February 15, 2012

boys on boys, girls on girls

i am a lucky girl.
i have 2 of the best guy friends.
brothers to me for almost a decade.
they are honest with me i'm dumb,
and kind to me when i need it.
we laugh loud and deep.
they know me
(& my many, many flaws)
and love me.

we get together about once a week,
over margaritas,
& chacha mugs,
and talk about life.
they teach me about boys,
and i decipher the girls in their lives.
it's quite wonderful. 
i've been learning that the problem with boys&girls 
is that girls think boys think/act like them,
and boys think girls act/think like them...
this is not true.
we could not be more different.

i encourage girls to get advice about boys, from boys,
and boys to get advice about girls, from girls.
the opposite will only cause you confusion,
and to make silly decisions.

here's a recap of a typical conversation,
for yer reading pleasure.
*names have been changed to protect those parties involved ;)

me: so i don't understand...
she outreaches you via 3 emails, an instant message & texts,
you meet, have a good time, she's totally into you,
but you're soo indifferent in how you're talking about it right now, 
what's the problem?
bill: you mean,....besides her face?
me: GASP! what?! so rude. what, is she ugly? 
let me see a picture of this girl.
bill (laughing): i mean, she's great. her body is so stellar,
she's funny (and you know i don't find most girls funny), 
and talented, and creative,
and motivated, and a go-getter,
i mean, she's the real deal... i just don't know.
ted: i totally get that.
me: what? i don't. what don't you know?
bill: well, i'll definitely see her at least once more, 
but who knows when that will be,
i'm so swamped right now.
me: have you said anything to her... 
like you're super swamped, but want to see her again?
bill: no, what's the point of that?
me: because girls need that.
bill: but i have no idea when i'll have time to see her.
me: we make time for the things we are interested in.
bill & ted: meh (shoulder shrug) 
bill: what? what's that face? what are you thinking?
me (taking a sip of my drink & shaking my head): 
i'm just wondering who's out there having this same conversation about me.
bill: mmm...nope. doubtful.
ted: yeah, that's not happening.
me: yes it is!
i love you guys,
and appreciate your friendship
and flattery,
but you're too nice to me...
because somewhere out there,
homegirl is sitting with her guy friends at a bar,
and they're telling her how pretty she is,
that she's a gem & a catch... 'the real deal',
and that 'bill' would be LUCKY to have her,
and that 'noo guy is outta her league',
in fact- this just in: johnny depp is single & living in France,
and she should look him up when she gets there!
 and she's wondering why the HELL you aren't texting her back,
or responding to her emails.

 ted: you make a good point.
bill: yeah, hard to argue with that.
me: if you want to see her again,
you should tell her.
and if you don't, 
just tell her. use your balls.
bill: but most girls are crazy
(ted nodding)
me: yeah, they are. i'm sorry about that. 
and most guys are assholes.
bill: we don't mean to be,
we just can't help it sometimes.
me: i know. neither can we.


 ...until next week's lesson.

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