Thursday, January 30, 2014

mange my baguette

things i should be doing:
laundry (literally down to one pair of underwear)
cleaning my apartment,
pattern drafting,
hand sewing,
returning emails,

things i am doing:
looking through every possible picture of my nephew i can find,
missing harlow and his silly personality,
and lastly- food.
i went to the market this morning & as the lady in front of me had clearly forgotten her carte bleu (debit card), she scrambled for the change at the bottom of her purse.
and by scrambled, i mean took literally 17 minutes, casually looking from previously checked pouch to pocket.
the french do nothing- literally NOTHING- in a hurry.
after about 12 minutes, i offered the cashier 2€ on her behalf. her total was 5,31€. 
people only realize i'm not french when i try to do nice things. 
mildly offended but mostly surprised, the woman refused and suddenly produced the rest of the money. 
she thanked me like 4 times (i'm pretty sure that's a record in france), and said a bunch of other things i couldn't understand- likely, 'how rude' 'i could never' 'i'll pay for my own groceries thank you very much' 
lady. i just was getting annoyed and wanted to buy my two liters of water, one apple and dog food and get out of there. 
then it hit me. 
this cashier, whom i see a few times a week, must think i live off water, cheese and the occasional bottle of wine. 
then it hit me again.
what DO i live off of? what do i eat? i never really buy anything else. 
also, in my absurdity, i briefly thought: does wine count as a fruit?
i came home and have been looking at photos of food i used to make on the regular.
back when i had sprouts and safeway and trader joes.
back when i had money.
and people to eat food with.
it's so weird eating literally every meal alone. 
this is not how food was intended to be enjoyed.
but when i cook, cook. i wind up eating the same thing for 6-7 straight meals (breakfast included).
because, a) only one dish can fit in my mini fridge at a time,
and b) can't be wasting!

here's some food i wish i could put in my mouth:

veggies skewers in olive oil, garlic, s&p

breakfast tacos and sw hashbrowns

mmm, pasta and stuffed tomatoes

quinoa veggie salad

white bean, tomato salad :: sliced zucchini salad :: grilled curry tilapia over a bed of fries and topped with an avocado vert tapenade  

now that i'm salivating, i'm gonna go drink some water for dinner.
(jokes- i have some gummybears too).

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